Dear Raleigh,

Today we went to sign you up for 3 year preschool at Child's World.  I'm excited that you are going to get to experience it just like I did.  I hope you'll love it!  Mrs. Scott is going to be your teacher.  I know you'll love her.  I'm excited for you as this is a new milestone in your life, but I'm very sad at the same time.

I'm not ready for you to grow up so quick!  I know you must go to school and that you'll learn so much, but it's hard to think that I won't be a part of it.  Even before you were born I dreamed of being at home with you every day and what it would be like to be able to take you to school, volunteer in your class, pick you up from school and get to talk about your day.  I'm very thankful that I've been able to be home most days with you, but now that you're getting ready to start school I'm realizing how much I'm going to miss.

Next year you're going to go to Child's World for two half days.  We could have signed you up for two whole days, but I really didn't want you to go all day and it would cost us more money.  I also wanted you to be in class with Payton and so that I would have Kim to ask any questions since she's been there before. Daddy is able to take you and Nana is going to pick you up.  I'll be working every day that you go to Child's World.  I'll never get to take you to school or pick you up.  I know I'm being very selfish, but this is my job and I feel like it's being taken away from me and given to someone else.  I don't like it one bit!!  It makes me very sad every time I think about it and I just want to cry thinking that I won't get to see your excitement as you go to school or when you get picked up.  I won't get the interaction with your teachers to find out how you are doing.  It makes me sick!  I'm missing a very important part of your life!

Raleigh, I hope you will understand one day that this is not how I want it to be, but how it is for now.  I love you so much and hope that one day this will all change and it will once again be my job...the way it's suppose to be!  The only bad thing is then it will be too late.  I promise I will use up any hours I have to be at any party or field trip you have...I refuse to miss it all!  I love you!!!

Love always,
Mommy